Please make sure you are:
Sitting in a little child's wooden classroom chair
Reading this with someone else's glasses
Piling information blocks on top of each other
Stopping, starting, stopping, starting

Just as importantly, make sure you are:
Watering heavily in both eyes
Employing the great deftness of AI to understand the meaning of these lines
Uniting with the community, in a fashion
While working on neglected zones of your selfhood
And you are hating angels instead


You could also try reading while:
Shaving your nether regions with an old razor
Thinking about whether the eggs in the fridge are still in date
Or spitting out the taste of someone else's vomit
Yes, now you are experiencing a kind of nausea that might not be one of the side effects listed on the medicine advisory sheet
That's it
You really are all-a-twitch now
Exactly as recommended
So please turn the page